20 Signs You’ve been Playing “Football Manager” Series Too Much

20. You wonder what’s so lucrative about engineering contract worth US$ 3000/month. Your reserve players nod in agreement.

19. You start using this catchphrase in daily life: “I want to see more from you!”

18. You note pretty girls few years your junior as “hot prospect for the future”.

17. You can’t grasp the fact that Arsenal fails to win any trophy at all, recently, in the real life. HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THOSE WONDERKIDS, FFFFFUUUUUU–

16. You sneer at motivational training because you think you have mastered it. “Where’s the passion, lads?”

15. You are enraged, ENRAGED, to see Marcelo Lippi ditching young gems like Okaka, Foti, Bertola, and Balotelli for the World Cup.

14. You start doing reverse psychology to fire people up. Last time you do the squad trounced the opponent, so why not.

13. You start substituting the word “happy” with “delighted” in everyday speech.

12. Likewise, you are now “deeply upset by” something when you are down.

11. You wish you have assistant manager feedback to help analyzing life.

10. When you hear the word “sign”, you don’t think of street marks or pamphlets.

9. You think of statement “Men vs Boys” as utter bollocks. Your squad’s average age is 25 and they’re doing well.

8. Mental image of Pep Guardiola playing for West Brom in 2007 doesn’t feel strange.

7. “Money can’t buy you love”. Now you understand what the quote *truly* means.

6. You think of naming your child after key players. Like, maybe “To Madeira”?

5. You staunchly believe that FM player database is infallible.

4. You want England coach to consider players from U-21 and lower divisions – because that’s how you won the World Cup.

3. Do you think “FM Radio” means “Football Manager Radio”? You did? Well, that says something…

2. You often find yourself thinking at 3 or 4 AM, “One more game… just one more game…”

1. You learn your laundry tip from FM addictedness rating – “turning your underwear inside out saves on washing.”

 

Honorable mention:

You have at least few relationship strained, or broken, because of FM.

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Ah…

Rasanya sekarang saya bisa membayangkan, bagaimana perasaan tiga orang manajer tim Liga Utama Inggris di setiap akhir musim.

Tetapi, lebih dari itu: yang satu ini benar-benar tragis. Saya tahu ini biasa, tapi tetap saja… =_=!

 

 

SIALAAAAAAAANN…!!!!

 

 
Perjuangan hingga detik terakhir. Derby dan Southend sebenarnya tumbang di tangan Liverpool dan Chelsea di pekan 38… tapi ternyata tim saya justru terbantai 1-5 oleh Manchester City. Apa daya, nasi sudah menjadi bubur. Dua musim di EPL pun berakhir dengan penurunan paksa™.

AAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!

***

 
Tentu, seperti biasa, selalu ada kebijaksanaan yang bisa diambil dari dunia FM. Dan kebijaksanaan kali ini adalah…

Jangan bekerja dengan para pemain yang nervous wreck menjelang pertandingan penting. Terutama yang bernama Jason Koumas, Nathan Ellington, dan Luke Steele.

SELALU UTAMAKAN orang-orang yang berhati teguh untuk tugas besar…

…dan langsung tendang kiper cadangan bodoh yang bikin perpecahan di minggu ke-37, ketika seluruh tim harusnya berkonsentrasi ke pertandingan. Fuck it.

***

On a side note, setidaknya saya punya penghiburan. Ternyata skill manajemen saya dihargai cukup tinggi di dunia FM. Nggak tahu seberapa akuratnya, tapi sempat bikin GR juga sih. ^^;

GK Coaching – 14
Attacking – 17
Defending – 15
Fitness – 15
Mental – 20
Technical – 19
Tactical – 20
Man Management – 17
Working With Youngster – 10

Which makes me wonder. Kalau memang stats saya sebagus itu, kok ya tim saya terdegradasi… 😕

Jadi penasaran. Kira-kira, apa jadinya kalau saya melatih Inter, ya? 😈

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